If you're thinking of hiring a coach, therapist or mentor (for the sake of consistency and conciseness, I'll use the word "mentor" to generally represent coach, therapist, couselor, etc.), one of your first questions to them in the vetting process should be, "Who's mentoring you?" Because any mentor worth having has their own mentor; someone they check in with on a regular basis. Even if just for maintnance. Think of it like a brain dentist.
Having an objective but intuitive leader does not show a lack of confidence. Conversely, having someone to report to and glean from is a sign of success and intelligence. It's admitting, "I have room for improvement and I'm fully here for it." It's showing up for oneself, honing skills, and investing in becoming better. It actually screams confidence.
In reality, you'd be hard-pressed to find a successful person who doesn't have a mentor. So why would a successful mentor be any exception? First of all, it shows they believe in the product they're selling. Second, their job is to weed through other people's garbage - they're gonna need regular cleanings from that alone.
It had been a few months since I met with my therapist so I recently called him up for some maintenance. Going in I didn't feel like I needed any specific help. I didn't have an agenda or issues I needed to work out. But coming out I recognized a weight lifted. And I'm a better coach today than I was yesterday because of it.
During our visit, although we were making some really good connections, there came a point where he wasn't fully getting me. It happens. I rephrased my frustration and said emphatically to him, "You know that makes sense!" He chuckled and quickly but calmly shot back, "Yes, Heather, it makes sense. But you're wrong." And I was.
Can we normalize humility, please? Why does it so often carry a negative connotation? It shouldn't. Humility is strength. It's a conduit to heaven. And why is pride seen as something to attain? It's a block to heaven. Shoot it down.
When searching for a mentor find someone who aligns with your ideas and connects with you where you are. Someone who doesn't judge but has wisdom to offer. Be sure they are devoid of pride, but carry a confident humility. Yes, that exists. But also be sure to find someone who readily confesses they have someone to do their cleanings too.
There's your mentor.
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