Natives Part Two

Following up my post on fly fishing for native rainbow trout, I have a little more insight about how the experience relates to relationships.

In twenty three years of marriage I've had a few people ask me for our secret. I'm sorry to say, I have none. Of course there are the usual answers: keep the passion alive, forgive quickly, communicate, etc. But honestly, I'm pretty sure we've failed at all those - regularly.

CNBC published an article this week sharing six phrases successful relationships always use. In case you're curious , here they are:

1. 'I'm going to tell you something that may be upsetting to hear'

2. 'I need your support right now'

3. 'It's understandable you feel that way'

4. 'I never thought of things that way'

5. 'I'm sorry for the part I've played in this'

6. 'Let's find a solution'

Think of them more as principles than phrases (We'd never get through the phrase without laughing at the formality.) Good ideas, right? I'm not sure they'd qualify as secrets though.

So many good tips for keeping a happy marriage! And though I find myself in one, I rarely share tips. When people ask for my secret to a long and happy partnership, I respond that it's like fishing. Though it's helpful to be in the right places and have the right tools and experience, ultimately you kinda have to get lucky. And it helps to catch a native.

After this many years of fly-fishing we have good gear, good experience, plenty of mistakes and fix-ups. But even when circumstances seem to be perfect, the fish has to bite. Preparation can provide great opportunities. But even with thorough prep and extensive resources, there's an element you can't control.

Such is the case in love. Preparation is important and I tell my kids as they look for potential partners, look in the right places, keep yourself worthy of them, be a native rainbow, be honest, communicate...all the things.

And then I tell them to pray for luck. Because even when you do everything right, there are too many variables you can't control.

In two weeks Kelly and I will be celebrating our anniversary. We have tried and failed and succeeded only to try and fail some more. I know Heaven was involved in our union but I also think we just got lucky.

And I must profess, of all the fish, I thank Heaven I hooked a native.