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Writer's pictureHeather Kennedy

Road Rage

Updated: Aug 18, 2023

I was driving home from church, feeling all good and clean-slate-ish, all right with the Lord, when out of nowhere a guy came running toward me in my lane of traffic, screaming at me to slow down because I was driving too fast.


Okay time-out for a sec. Understand this--I’m not really a road rager. I’m fairly forgiving and sympathetic when it comes to other people driving - not usually triggered by others’ poor maneuvers per se. That said, I do get triggered when people get angry at me while I'm on the road. In that instance, ‘rage’ would be an adequate descriptive.


Back to the story…


I had rounded the corner, pedestrian out of sight, before I realized the screaming expletive that had just filled the space of my single-occupant car. Not five minutes out of church and I had shouted a derogatory label at a stranger. He didn't hear me, if that’s any consolation.


I preach about control. I’ve got a good handle on both the concept and my aptitude in demonstrating it, so it’s frustrating in moments like this when I totally lose it.


Why can't we just be in control of ourselves all the time? There are actually a lot of answers to that question. But this scenario exposes one important caveat of control. We have the most control when we’re focused.


How often have you wished you had a behavioral do-over? When I’ve snapped at my kids or had an unkind response to someone, I’ve looked back with regret, knowing I could’ve done better. And I'm almost every instance, I guarantee I would... because I would be focused.


If I had been driving home from church thinking, ‘I’m going to smile and be kind to the next person who crosses me,’ I know I would have. And that sad, angry man would've seen my happy face instead.


Here’s the good news: practice develops habitual responses. The more you practice focus and control, the more it will become natural behavior, habit gradually taking over focus. In the meantime, don’t beat yourself up over slip-ups. Acknowledge, apologize, reset, and FOCUS.



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