What Girls Basketball Taught Me About Finding Teammates

It's always basketball season at our house. Kelly is 6'4" and I'm 5'10" so you can bet we've got some ballers in the home. Two have graduated so we're not spread as thin between all their activities, but our two youngest play on four separate teams when basketball season comes around.

That's a lot of games to attend and a heck of a lot of practices to drive to. But they love it!

At our youngest daughter's game last year I witnessed something you'd only see at a 6th grade girls' basketball game. One of her friends was playing on the opposite team, (not terribly unusual in our rural town - but a new experience for her). During a drive and a lay-up, our daughter was fouled and found herself at the free-throw line. Her whole bench was chanting her name and shouting out encouragements as the ref tossed her the ball.

(Young girls are such natural cheerleaders!)

What surprised me, though, was the cheering I noticed from the other bench. Her friend on the opposing team was cheering for her as well.

Ever cheered for the wrong team? It happens. I've found myself accidentally clapping out of rote response only to feel glares from the fans surrounding me. But this wasn't that. This opponent knew exactly what she was doing.

Her buddy was at the line and she was giving full support, regardless of alliance and despite the girls surrounding her.

Teammates can be difficult to identify if we're looking in the wrong places. If we assume that teammates are identified by affiliation, status, or a certain color jersey, we'll be constantly disappointed.

Teammates are about alignment. They want what's best for us, even if it isn't exactly what's best for them.

In my book, For Starters, I mention that "Starters are the best bench-warmers." Top tier teammates know how to be a fan. It's a prerequisite. And since Starters are people of impact, they make positive differences in the world around them, no matter their position.

They can do it from the court or the field. Or...they can do it from the bench.

Who in your life needs you on their bench? Forget what team they're on, forget yourself and those surrounding you. Just show some love.

It's impossible to control how others show up in your life and that can be disappointing. In those moments, embrace what you can control and be fully invested in someone else.

Be the best benchwarmer. Be a Starter.